Champagning: It's a thing

The lads have done it.

Recently, The Stand received information about the new fad taking over the salmon-trousered demographic of our university, 'porting', whereby students pour the age-old St Andrews debating drink over themselves. However, after investigating, we soon discovered that a different kind of tradition had formed itself. It's called 'trust funding'. 

St Andrews has taken the latest student craze of milking, and added its own special touch. Champagne.

Wills and Kate who? Say what, academic excellence? Raisin Shmaisin! A legacy has arrived and it sure is bubbly....